What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What do you mean son?

What is quantum entanglement?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable that my friend thinks my brother is hot?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why is the left keep misrepresenting what Trump said about his daughter? When asked if he would date her if he weren’t her father, it simply reflected pride in raising a smart, respectful, and loving daughter with good morals all men want that no?

True - how I loved my mum!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Have husbands and wives ever had a threesome with someone in real life? How did it happen?

What! how could you do that?